A Little Prayer

For each night before I fall to sleep, I close my eyes to say a little prayer. I begin to pray thanking the good Lord for the things he blesed me with.

Then, I begin to say:

Lord, I thank you for your love you have given to me. I know it is here to stay.

Lord, I thank you for caring about my life. I know so many others may not.

You still stand beside me.

I may not have a fortune of money to give or to share, but Lord, I do have a fortune of love with you I am willing to propagate.

I know it is true, when temptation causes me to fall it will be you to help me to stand tall. When others look down at me, you forgive me for all.

Others may not see how strong, or true your love can be, but they will see you have not forsaken me.

You are my witness unto all.

It will be then, I have told, to each and everyone, my little prayer I will share.

Then, they too, will make their own little prayer unto you. Later, they cannot say, they are too late.

From this little simple prayer of mine the world will then know you are there for them just as you have been for me.

There is one last thing I need to say. I thank you my dear Lord for not forsaking me.

Amen!

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A Father’s Heart

Many years have come and gone between us, years of laughter and of joy. Yet, there were those years of sorrow and sadness we shared and today, I continue to cherish those memories we once shared.

You taught me right from wrong. To do as you say and not as you do, only for my protection and dignity. For that, I have found your love to be true.

When my day came to share my love a a mother to my son, you still stood near; you did not dare to leave.

Now, I have married, you have moved on leaving to my husband, his chance to be a father to your grandson, whch I trul see, deep inside your heart you can only hope my husband to be a better father to my son then what you were to me.

For this, I would like to say, thank you and I love you!

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A Day with the Band

Smooth grey clouds fill the sky ver so softly covering the bright blue sky hidden behind the grey clouds scattered with streams of jet smoke.

No storm is in sight.

This day ending all too soon wishing I was with you. Instead, I sit patiently with thoughts of you running through my mind as I cn hear your voice calling out my name listening o the band’s song, “Here with Me.”

The words speak of leaving. My heart desires the need to be with you. I only wish their words, “Here with Me,” were my words to say to you.

I close my eyes, letting the warmth of the sunlight shine on my eyelids providing me with the light to see into my subconscious. Images of our moments we shared, within such little time, our emories come to mind.

I cherish each of those times. I see my future only to be with you. Impatiently hoping you chose me as I have you.

Again, I repeat, the band’s words, “No matter whee you are tonight, a part of you is here with me.”

When I hear their words, I know deep in my heart these chosen words are true.

They say it once again, before me, “All I know is that I need you here with me.”

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Kissing Toads

Ever get the notion to question things maybe one is not suppose to question? Things, as in, if one is praying for her night and shining armor to sweep her off her feet, later, she realizes she has never kissed anything but toads; toads who are disguised as a prince.

In the last 15 years—of which she cares to consider her dating life—Gullible Woman was the toad kissing fool.

10 years with a husband who never appreciated her as his wife. Belittling, name calling, the whole 10 years of emotional and mental abuse she dealt with. There were good, fun, and respectful times, but the negativity times outweighed the positive times.

Although, legally, it was seven years of marriage, one year of dating, and two years of separation, she spent seven months with a man who had his heart torched by the simple touch of the ex-husband syndrome fear. This includes three weeks with one toad who blinded her only to play her for a fool.

In the 30 some years of Gullible Woman’s life, she would have thought by now she found her prince. But she has not kissed the right toad.

Excluding the years before marriage, puppy love years, the seven months of dating Jealous Man, and the very short three weeks of dating Fantasy Man, or other short term relationships, she cares to only remember these three relationships to be the important ones to discuss as of now; November 09, 2009.

Yet, she continues to hope, keep the faith, and continue to dream about her prince.

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Parachuting

Ending the entries of the discussion on Fantasy Man and Jealous Man, in conclusion, a man who claims he loves her so suddenly, one has to come to the realization there has to be something peculiar with this picture.

An ex-boyfriend, and three different friends—at completely different times—observed how Gullible Woman expressed her concerns in reference to Fantasy Man.

Here she has denied any negativity people insinuated towards, Jealous Man, by praising his friendship.

Now, after ranting and raving to friends; Tracker, Eye Opener, and Counselor, helped her to realize Fantasy Man was not all that she made him out to be. Or, the one she had hoped for.

It was then, she became conscious of Fantasy Man. Reality smacked her in the face. He was her parachute who failed and her reserve shoot were her friends, Tracker, Eye Opener and Counselor. Three male friends, who all were fearless of her defense, yet concerned for her feelings.

Now she realizes her parachute did not work, but she was saved by her reserve and she is once again resuming her position on the plane ready for her next jump.

Until she finds her jumping point, the plane continues ascending across the open skies.

This ends the entry discussion of Fantasy Man, along with Jealous Man.

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Jealous Man vs. Fantasy Man

Fantasy Man was a man who she never imagined herself to ever be with because in her eyes that’s who he was, a fantasy. He did give her the time of day. She was head over hills.

Awhile back, she broke the ice by saying, “I love you.”

Does she? Or, is it an obsession for wanting to love and to be loved?

The night before, she went out and got buzzed with her friend, ex-boyfriend, Jealous Man. When she arrived home she was rudely greeted by her sister, Blinder, and her sister’s new boyfriend, Tex.

Once she opened the door, they laid into her.

“What are you doing with Jealous Man? Are you trying to lose Fantasy Man?” Tex announced firmly.

Jealous Man was not only her ex-boyfriend and friend, but Gullible Woman’s neighbor, who she had settled for a year after her separation from her soon to be ex-husband, until five months ago. She broke up with him because he was her rebound. The one who she thought she loved, and thought she was in love with. For so long she juggled the question in her mind regarding the question Tex asked. She knew Jealous Man feel hard for her, and continued to love her, but that was not who she wanted.

She understood it was contradicting, yet, she was totally confused.

Before her buzz, Jealous Man talked to Gullible Woman expressing his opinion regarding Fantasy Man.

“Fantasy Man was a low life, woman beating, redneck.”

All of her life, she always depended on others to make her decisions and she followed what they said. Like a robot.

Prior to Wednesday night, Fantasy Man was over staying the night with her. Knocking softly, Jealous Man made his self noticeable standing outside her front door.

Her 14-year-old son, Free Runner, was sleeping and awakened shortly by the knocking on her front door. He answered opened it and surely enough it was Jealous Man commanding Gullible Woman’s presents.

Free Runner stated, “We are sleeping. Mom is with her boyfriend.”

Forcefully, Jealous Man snapped insisting she had no boyfriend and if she did, he was her boyfriend. He barged through the front door stomping his way down her hall meeting her halfway. She directed Jealous Man to leave stating his presents were not welcomed.

As he barged over her, he started screaming towards Fantasy Man stating he was wrong for expecting Gullible Woman to wait around for his arrival. Jealous Man firmly believed Fantasy Man was only using her.

When Fantasy Man stood, Jealous Man taunted his way back from her room into the living room only to vanish out the front door, back to his apartment. He was out of sight for the rest of the night.

She sat there on the verge of disbelief because she could not accept Jealous Man would pull such a stunt as this, but luckily, no one was hurt and no one ended up in jail.

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Fantasy Man

It all started this morning. Not realizing it, but knowing tonight had to be a full moon. She could feel it.

Wasting the night away, without a wink of sleep, as Gullible Woman tried to complete her homework, her heart and desires looked forward to seeing a caring and sweet man who happened to walk into her life earlier this week; Fantasy Man.

40-years-old, sandy blonde hair, eyes blue as the sky smeared with a grey tint, perfect teeth, perfect lips, and perfect body, just perfect—in her eyes—everywhere. The kind of guy with a body and looks she thought only appeared on greeting cards.

In her lonely king size bed, she laid starring into the eyes of her Fantasy Man who appeared on her laptop. She could only dream he was lying next to her.

As her day of only two hours of sleep continued, she regretted the day. A lunch date was planned that she missed. Gullible Woman closed her eyes for a few minutes only to realize she slept for two hours too long.

Beating herself down for oversleeping, the phone rang. On the other end was his voice. Fantasy Man! He proclaimed he injured his back while at work. Gullible Woman was not given the privilege to spend his lunch hour with him. Helpless, yet crushed, she wanted nothing more than to be there for him.

Come 3 o’clock p.m., she called hoping he was better, and to tell him how much she wished she was there and how much she missed him. Without an answer, she started to panic. Feeling he was upset because she overslept. Finally, another call came in. It was Fantasy Man once again.

Later, expecting his arrival, as he promised, he never showed. No call. No show.

She continued sitting at home awaiting his call, but the only call was her mother complaining about issues Gullible Woman’s oldest son was causing. After she bickered with her son for awhile, and the situation became resolved, another issue occurred. Her friend came by to cancel their plans they had made for that night; a triple date. Her sister never called and never showed either.

Around 8 o’clock, after she drove to Wendy’s for dinner then to Starbuck’s for a Latte, Fantasy Man texted her saying he was sorry. She broke the ice by texting him back saying she loved him. She did not hear back from him. However, not only did an empty response from him leave her hanging, but it left her thinking about him and drinking a total of three lattes, which soon after caused her stomach to cramp. However, it beat going to the bar that was behind Starbucks.

Fantasy Man is a man Gullible Woman wanted. She wanted him to want her back.

As she went back home she went upstairs to her two bedroom apartment observing his picture once again. She found herself seeing him everywhere. He was on her computer, in her mind, displayed on her cell phone, and especially in her heart.

The thoughts of his soft touches, gentle kisses, warm laughs, and snuggling arms wrapped completely around her only drove her deeper into loving him.

If she looked at another man, all she could see was him.

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